View Full Version : anxiety, frustration

02-06-2007, 12:52 AM
ive been having a lot of frustration these past few days. Im not sleeping well, i can't really concentrate in class, im not eating.

three of my good friends, one being Jeremy, have really noticed this difference, and yesterday i spent half the night crying, talking first to jordan, then alma, then jeremy, and still it seems like i havent solved anything. it seems like i just weakened myself and haveny gotten anywhere.

before thanksgiving, someone who i thought was a close friend truned and just began to do cruel things to me....leave when i sat down at the dinner table, ignore me, she basically kicked me out of our group of friends. as the term ended in september, she went home for christmas, giving everyone but me cards and gifts. she was away for all of january, studying abroad w/the orchestra, so i was able to be with my friends, rebuild friendships that i had weakened by reunning away when she was angry with me.

but the new semester has begun, and the first two days she treated me the same. But as soon as she found out i had made a welcome home sign and put it on her door(i was trying to mend, trying to start out on the right foot) THAT was when she all of a sudden was warm and gregarious and friendly to me.

but i don't know if this friendship is sincere! i don't want to get hurt again, and run away like i did before......before when she changed, i didnt confront her, i just was shocked and hurt and went toother people to spend time with.....it really really hurt.

and i don't know if that will happen again, because she is acting as if nothing had happened between us. she hasnt awknoledged that she ignored me for a two and a half months.

ive been praying, ive been seeking peace, but i also seem to be making poor choices. im returning to my old habits of fidgiting, biting my nails, scratching my fingers (all my nails are now trimmed close so i can do the last two anymore)

i see these things.....these indications that im not at peace, but i don't know what to do! im angry at mysef for allowing myself to make poor choices and try and find solace in empty activities, and im making better choices now.

i feel like im kind of ranting, kind of complaining. please, if you would? pray for some peace, that God grant me some peace with this and other struggles.

02-06-2007, 01:48 AM
Wow, I be prayin' for you!

02-06-2007, 11:53 AM
Of course. You're always in my prayers hon, no problem to ratchet it up a notch.

02-06-2007, 01:27 PM
aw jasi...ill keep prayin

02-06-2007, 07:04 PM
I'll be praying too.

02-06-2007, 08:58 PM
i'll be praying. *HUGS*

02-06-2007, 09:17 PM
i'll be praying too